SLOW DOWN TO SPEED UP

The raking has begun, and every year when the air gets crispy I get some longing to shake things up a  bit. There are no shortage of undertakings at the present moment. Everything is moving faster than ever before.

Work travel actually becomes a true pleasure this time of year. On Thursday evening I had the luxury of staying at the Cincinnatian Hotel, in you guessed it, Cincinnati. The joint was built in 1882, and the room was full of cool old antiques and a full granite (floor to ceiling?) bathroom and sitting area. I would never splurge on something so elegant, but in a pinch to find a place to crash I hopped on Hotwire outside the bar where I said goodbye to my clients. Complete comfort for under $100? Yeah, I’ll take that. I needed a comfy, quiet place to work on Friday morning. Too bad I forgot my dang gym shoes.

I’m not going to lie and say that September was an easy month. There were all sorts of heavy and petty challenges for all of us, and I felt mostly stressed, pissed off, and disconnected. Don’t get me wrong, there was definitely a lot of fun to be had in there, but it was usually the darker variety, summoned to balance my heaviness all around. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, because in so many ways things are better than they’ve ever been. You know I believe in planetary alignment, astrology, and all sorts of energy affecting how we behave and perceive, right? Well my behavior and perceptions last month were a far cry from the dude I’ve been working on these past few years. Again, mostly just cranky and short-tempered, overly sensitive, feeling a little unworthy and a little lazy. I didn’t murder anyone. Those storms blow through and you think “what the HELL?” Running the race helped wrap up a tough month on an uplifting note. Nada Surf has a brilliant record called “The Weight is a Gift”. I honestly believe that, because sprinting to the finish line with a grin on my grill felt all that sweeter after a challenging month.

These run photos are totally over priced, and probably a little ego-heavy, but screw it I’m buying one. You work pretty hard for months to run a good distance, and the clarity and glory you feel comes and goes too quickly. That look on my face is honestly something I pursue throughout every day. How do I get there without having to run 13 friggin miles? Hahahaha. People have been asking me if I plan to run a marathon, and I’ve definitely been saying YES, but I need to figure out when and how to train. I’ll only do it if the training is enjoyable, the marathon route is inspiring, and for the shower afterward.  I now know why Gayle wanted to experience natural labor again, for the relief of the baby finally arriving. A shower after running 13 or 26 miles is one of the sweetest experiences I’ve had on earth so far. That’s my carrot on the fishing pole. I’ve tried to chill a bit, but the moment I open my eyes every morning I wonder if I’ll get my 4 miles in. It’s been so freakin busy since race day, I was finally able to run for the first time yesterday morning (Sunday, at 7am). That’s just wrong to be up that early on a Sunday.

So when Frisky McAutumn finally arrives, please excuse me if I seem too giddy. My creative energy starts swirling up and I’m ready for something, anything. Maniacal running is just a symptom of the larger problem: where the hell do I channel these swells of inspirado, or signals that everything actually is quite better than alright? There’s no sense in looking ahead to the next song, album, painting, sale or run. If you’re being bitten by something good in the moment just look inward and freakin smile for a second. The fact that these desires thrive inside of you is the miracle of who you are. Their completion is all but guaranteed, and the work should really be the fun part.

I’ll only do it if the training is enjoyable, the route is inspiring, and for the shower afterward.