I spent so much time when I was younger planning my escape from my current surroundings. There were big moves to plan, away from wherever I was. It could have been people or a job or a living situation. Whatever I was doing at the moment wasn’t cutting it in some way, and I will willing to risk the chaos that comes from complete upheaval to get anywhere but here. There’s an underlying anxiousness within many of us to shake things up to some ridiculous level, if only to prove to ourselves that we can handle it, or that we’re alive. You see it a lot within people’s careers. What could the average span be these days for someone at a particular job? It has to be down to just a couple years.
I don’t feel strongly either way about you needing to stick it out for 30 years or 6 months with your employer, because I don’t see your job defining who you are. Do you? I stick around for the thrill of what I’ve created, for the indications that this is what I’ve asked for, & for the payoff of yesterday’s or last year’s hard work.
It has to be 5 years ago now that I wrote the pre-chorus to a song called “Season II”: every year or 2, we’re up for renewal/and we always make it through/but the wait can be so cruel. Why do we spend so much time waiting to be saved from our current situation when we could easily flip it and acknowledge that we don’t even need to leave our houses for immense change to come and find us? You can stay in bed all day and something will happen, or a thought will arrive that will lead you forward.
I could prove this to you, because although I do travel a bit more than most people, the other 2/3 of my time is spent here in this house. Working, parenting, dreaming & scheming, creating, wiping the drawing board clean and beginning again. And at times my life becomes unrecognizable from the year before, mostly in good ways. I’ve realized that it’s useless to try to outrun yourself, because whatever your core issues to work out are, they will resurface in that new job, that new city, that new relationship, that new car, and on and on and on.
So maybe it’s a good idea to ask yourself every night as you lay in your bed: “What happened today that was just so powerful, or out of the blue, or made me smile, that awoke those loving vibe ripples up my spine?” Because no change of scenery will affect the contrast that comes at you, the flip side is that your inner magic is completely portable. Despite my surroundings, or the challenges of this week or this day, the love and laughter will come find me. It always does.
And I’m always left feeling like a crazy lucky mofo, wild-eyed, wild hair, on a wild ride that I’ve created. Even though we take on a great many things, we can choose to accept all of the craziness that comes with them. Better still, we can appreciate it for pushing us toward the expansion we asked for. So hello 9AM, hello list longer than the day I have to complete you, & welcome back work challenges.
Maybe just maybe having more shit to accomplish than what we have time for is a really good sign. We’re in demand from others, from ourselves. We’re integral to the progression of All That Is.
