Happy Estimated Birthday, Frankie Jane Carter. Gayle reminded me that the due date is only an estimation. In our first kid’s case, the due date was the air craft carrier out at sea. She nearly under-shot her landing, squeaking by only 2 hours into the due date. It’s clear that expecting is a much higher value activity than waiting. I think this is something I’ve always known, but it becomes much more vibrantly clear when there’s an offspring attached to it. What we need to remind ourselves is: I wait for no one, nor no thing. I expect they will arrive right on time.
But then I’m not the one with the physical reminders. Gayle’s doing great, we’re both just ready to have this kid! It’s much more of a joyful anticipation than a let’s get it over with already. So don’t ask. We’ll call or write, or post some pics. Promise. 
You’ll be the almost first to know.
——-
I’ve been recognizing lately that I need to take a more consistent approach in my well-being, so (again), I’m giving up the drink. It’s not some big revelation, or some big declaration. It’s just a logical step for me right now. It’s a cycle that I’ve drifted in and out of for years now: Partying is fun, partying makes me feel poopy, discover mirth through other means, stress hits, partying is fun… I guess I’m tired of experiencing these spikes of intergalactic clarity, and then feeling them dissipate through the churn of life.
The dissipation is part of the process, as it requires you to dig deeper in order to hit a higher rung on the ladder. But I’m not interested in running hurdles, or pole vaulting, or participating in any sport really. I’m looking for a satisfying, even hum. It forces me to evaluate anything that pulls me different directions. The most obvious of these are Food & Drink. So I’m just tidying up around the temple, and I couldn’t think of a better last drink (for who knows how long) than toasting on election night.
And so it goes, the cycle of my pseudo-content. My head is remarkably clear after only 3 weeks (I started the Tuesday before 11/4), and a lot of subjects are becoming increasingly interesting to me. Books I haven’t read or once tried to read are calling out to me. Refilling my head and heart with bigger ideas. The baby’s arrival, my new role in Elliott’s life as Mother & child get acquainted, our marriage in the midst of 2 kids, the home/work balance. The river gets wider and wider.
It used to take a lot of external forces to summon the power I needed to navigate my choppy current. And gradually I’ve lost faith in much of what lies outside of myself. That’s not to say that I only care about “me”. So much of our lives is spent being tossed around in distraction and reaction. Nothing has ever served me better than planting deeper, healthier roots. The real mind game is that trees don’t just erupt from the ground all of the sudden. Temperance, understanding, forgiveness, and expectation. Watch me grow.
There are a great many things to expect this week:
> the arrival of our second daughter? Maybe? Please?
> my new boss coming to town for meetings. Great guy.
> radio interview to air on Friday evening (details later in the week)
> further polishing of the video content, migrating to a new server
> the vortex of joy that swirls around any new baby
> more clarity, more love, more laughs
